East Toronto Therapy

Mindfulness for Sexual Pleasure

I recently wrote about men and low desire, and women and low desire, acknowledging that many people have desire difficulties. And that in fact, what is commonly seen as low desire is usually more accurately a case of responsive desire…desire that shows up part way through a sexual encounter, so long as a person is able to clear their mind of other distractions and stay in the moment to appreciate what is happening that might lead to desire. This act of staying in the moment is exactly what is practiced during mindfulness, which is what I’ll be discussing at a workshop presentation at Good For Her on November 10th. In this presentation, Mindfulness for Sexual Pleasure, I’ll be introducing the concept of mindfulness and how it can be applied to both everyday life and particularly to increasing sexual satisfaction.

Mindfulness can be defined as bringing awareness to the present moment, in an intentional and non-judgmental way. Mindfulness is something that requires ongoing practice, it isn’t something that one perfects or achieves. As you bring your awareness to the present moment, you naturally find that your mind wanders…that’s what minds do. Mindfulness is that act of bringing your mind back to the present moment each time it wanders, in a gentle and accepting way. This practice helps to address the mind chatter that gets in the way of sexual difficulties such as pelvic pain, erectile difficulties, orgasm difficulties, and body-image concerns, and also works with those who have responsive desire (sometimes seen as low-desire or desire difficulties).

There is plenty of research demonstrating the effectiveness of mindfulness for depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, and more recently research has started to look at the benefits of mindfulness on sexual concerns including sexual arousal and sexual desire. As a couple therapist and sex therapist, I’ve used mindfulness with many clients to improve their sex lives. This makes sense, because after all, sex is a mindful activity. You must be fully present, in the moment, tuned in to what is happening in the moment in order to have good sex.

For more information about the workshop and to register for Mindfulness for Sexual Pleasure, please visit Good For Her.