It happens. You get busy with work, the kids and family. Between making lunches, getting the kids off to school, going to work, supervising homework, driving the kids to lessons, making dinner, and doing laundry you no longer have time for yourself or your partner. Without making a conscious decision to do so, you’ve put your relationship on a back burner while you deal with the day to day tasks that must be attended to.
And that works. For a while. The two of you still have common goals, are working together to build your family’s future, and you love each other. You have fond memories from the start of your relationship, when you used to talk for hours (not about the kids), see movies (that didn’t involve Disney characters) and even (gasp!) make love. Your common goals and shared memories of the past get you through when there just isn’t time to focus on your relationship. But eventually, even the strongest relationship starts to wilt when it doesn’t receive attention.
As a therapist, I see what happens when couples put their relationship on a back burner for too long. Couples report that they feel more like roommates than lovers, that there’s no connection. They’re still working to build a life for their family, but it feels more like a business partnership than a romantic one.
You know that you need to make your relationship a priority, but it’s hard to see how to do that when you’re caught up in all the other things that need to get done. Couples therapy can help you make your relationship a priority again and bring back the feeling of connection between you and your partner.
Have you put your relationship on a back burner for too long?